*托福iBT高手請進*獨立寫作尋求批改及評分(1-1)
美語 michael seo發問:
請針對本篇托福作文題目，進行此篇托福獨立寫作的文章批改，主要檢查『文法、介係詞、連接詞、句型、正確用字...等』用iBT托福評分及給分標準批閱。並告訴我錯的地方和應修正為何，然後評分。請勿大篇幅修改，不然我會不知道要如何用一慣的寫法在練習中修正並進步。謝謝您！(3、4、5段在1-2的發問中)It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books." Compar and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from... 顯示更多 請針對本篇托福作文題目，進行此篇托福獨立寫作的文章批改，主要檢查『文法、介係詞、連接詞、句型、正確用字...等』用iBT托福評分及給分標準批閱。並告訴我錯的地方和應修正為何，然後評分。請勿大篇幅修改，不然我會不知道要如何用一慣的寫法在練習中修正並進步。謝謝您！(3、4、5段在1-2的發問中) It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compar and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? Some people may think books are where the knowledge source is. However, to my opinion, knowledge gained from experience is the way much more important than from books. There are few reasons I would like to discuss. First of all, learning from books takes time, but learning from experience shortens the time on improving oneself. Some practical skills need to be put efforts in the technical field for us to learn and practice to achieve the goal. Therefore, compare to book knowledge, practical experience increases one’s learning speed, and helps a completely learning from the complicated techniques.
最佳解答:
Hello Ms. (Mr.?)Zoo Nice job overall, just a few minor mistakes as follows: 粗體底線 = 修改過的字 紅框裡的字 = 不必要 It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? *I believe the misspell of the word “compare” is due to carelessness, so nothing major here Some people may think books are where the knowledge source is. However, In my opinion, knowledge gained from experience is (the way) much more important than from books. There are a few reasons I would like to discuss. *To my opinion = X In my opinion = O *You can either write “ is much more important” or “is way more important”, but “is the way much more important” is clunky and false grammar. *“A” few reasons = positive tone, used to stress on the number of reasons you haveFew reasons = negative tone, used to stress on how weak the reasons areFor instance: There are “few reasons” why I should lend you money. (Hesitation) First of all, learning from books takes time, whereas learning from experience shortens the time on self improvement. Some practical skills need to be integrated into technical fields for us to learn and practice to achieve the goal. Therefore, compared to book knowledge, practical experience increases one’s learning speed, and helps to achieve a complete learning experience from (the) complicated techniques. *Changed some wordings to make the flow smoother *Using of “the technical field” is specific and refers to a particular field you are discussing (in this case none), whereas “technical fields” is non-specific (generic) *Same problem with “the complicated techniques” – since you are not talking about anything specific, no need to use “the” Overall, this is a pretty solid writing, so I will give you a score of 85 (out of 100) easy! (Sorry for being so strict, but that’s how you improve) Keep up the good work! 2013-08-12 19:24:11 補充： Master Panda will only give me 59 out (of) 100, because he wants me (to) keep writing. Sorry MSG...couldn't resist it...it's the Grammar Nazi side of me at work again! XD救救菜英文 大陸翻譯
其他解答:
I think paragraph 1 is the "problem definition" given to the students.|||||HAHA... This is just past of the writing, I have my 1-2 from the link below, maybe you would like to correct it for me. :) http://tw.knowledge.yahoo.com//question/question?qid=1013080901362|||||Master Panda will only give me 59 out 100, because he wants me keep writing. 2013-08-19 08:54:10 補充： See, that was why I said, I got only 59 out of 100!
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